Over the festive season you spend a lot of time thinking about how you are going to make the next year, THE YEAR! The focus seems to be on taking on more, achieving more or stopping bad habits for example. However, it’s important to clear out the clutter of the previous year before we take on new goals and activities. The reason being that if you want to be successful in parts of your life, you need to eliminate all the things that you put up with in life, the things you do but you don´t like to or you disagree with, what are you tolerating?
After some time of tolerating what you don’t want to, you may start to feel overwhelmed by the situation or dragged down and depressed. It is time to identify what you are tolerating! When you tolerate something, you are draining your energy and the negative effects will continue to get worse. When you don’t tolerate what you don’t want to, you experience more energy, you will have more time for yourself, to do what you want to do, the quality of your life will improve, as you raise your standards.
Think about what drains your energy, what makes you sigh? You want to have an environment that gives you energy and doesn’t drain your energy. You will feel more focused, productive and have more energy to achieve more in less time.
You will also attract more opportunities because your energy levels will be focused upon what you want to achieve and not on what you need to tolerate. Ask yourself why you are tolerating certain situations and then ask yourself; what is the benefit or the fear behind allowing this to continue? Go deep! Unless we make changes, we will experience the same results over and over again.
Types of tolerations
You can divide the tolerations into different categories or areas of your life. You can also divide into easy or more difficult ones. See below
Work: Are you putting up with a messy and disorganized office? Are you struggling because you don’t have the skills you would need, what are you putting up with that you don’t have to? Interruptions from colleagues, distractions at work, what stops you from being as productive as you can be?
People: Normally we put with much more than we like from other people. When are you passive and not being assertive? When do you tolerate things you don’t want to? You could likely build up a resentment against this person, open communication is essential to deal with these tolerations.
Health: When you eat unhealthily, when you don’t take time to exercise and feel better, you are tolerating your own unhealthy behavior! You are standing in the way of yourself feeling better and sometimes you can become your own worst enemy.
Home/Personal Life: Everything from not fixing things in your house to having an untidy cupboard, drawers packed with papers and useless items, etc
You should differentiate between easy and difficult tolerations. The idea is to change an easy toleration and a difficult one, but not only difficult ones as that could be taking on too much and undermine your success.
Changing things like clearing out your inbox at work and at home, getting your car serviced or doing more with your time than just watching TV if that what you seem to do but don´t feel good about it.
More difficult Tolerations
Lack of free time to enjoy yourself, discovering and clarifying ways to improve your time-management, for example. Tolerating difficult relationships or problems because clear boundaries have not been established. Financial issues and increasing debt, etc
1. Make a list of all your tolerations (email me for a copy of this document).
Discover and identify when you are putting up with things you don’t really want to. Be honest with yourself and take time out to reflect. Think about the times that you did something, but you didn’t really want to, the times when your intuition told you to do something differently. Write them all down.
2. Have a vision
Imagine what your life would look like without the ¨putting up¨ anymore, what will it be like? What will you be doing? What will be different, how good does it feel? Connect with this vision when you feel unmotivated or hesitant.
3. Differentiate between the easy and difficult tolerations
The easier ones are quicker to get rid of and the ones that will give you back your time and energy the quickest.
4. Choose which ones you will start working with
Start with no more than 4 a week, and ensure you have a mix of easy and difficult. Be sensible and don´t take on more than you know you can´t handle.
5. Take Action
Make a plan to implement these changes and put deadlines as well. Think about everything that you will need to achieve this successfully.
Ask yourself the following questions to move forward
- What boundaries do I need to set for myself?
- Who will I need to talk to and what conversations need to take place?
- What resources do I need to help me make this possible?
- If I have to put up with something, what is required of me to no longer feel
a drain on my time or energy?
- Do I need to lower or raise my standards in order to be free of
6. Commitment to improve your life
Making changes can be one of the hardest things we encounter in life. We love comfort, familiarity, security, knowing! But change is essential to improve our lives and well worth the effort. Commit to success and also be prepared for the emotional changes that will occur, feeling motivated, at times depressed, etc, Once you have eliminated all the tolerations, you will be in a better position to start achieving goals now that the clutter has been cleared.
To Your Success!