Why is it so hard to get clear on my goals? Why do I feel completely lost when it comes to deciding what I really want to achieve? We all seem to struggle when it comes to getting crystal clear on what we want. We tend to set the same goals repeatedly. I believe that one of the main reasons people don’t achieve what they ultimately desire in life is because they are not clear on what they want, and they are not clear on their goals.
The stats on how many people set goals and don’t achieve them is shocking, with all the information out there it should be easier to achieve more and create the life we dream of. It is these stats however that sparked my curiosity, coupled with the recurring number of clients I have that come to me with unclear objectives and goals, that inspired me to write this in-depth guide to ‘Getting clear on what you really want’.
The Reasons it is hard to set goals
There is no one reason why it is challenging to get clear on goals, the 3 most common reasons I have found are the following;
- Fear – When it comes to the time to imagine what you want and you ask yourself this question, your mind will only answer with options that it feels safe with. The challenge with this is that what you desire most is often on the other side of what you fear most, so you won’t set goals that really excite you and change your life and ones that are worth doing everything for.
- Lazy Approach – I am sure you have heard that the first three answers that come to your mind when you ask it a question are just the same answers you have always thought of or heard and are limited to your reality. When you don’t take the time and create the space and get in the right energy to ask the right questions and gain the clarity you need, you will never get it.
- Asking the wrong questions – Whatever you ask your mind, your mind will answer, even if the answer is – ‘I don’t know’. Asking the wrong questions limits you, blocks you and shifts your focus in the wrong direction. It is key to ask the right questions to know what you really want to achieve and to set the right goals to achieve this. As Tony Robbins famously says, ‘The quality of your life is the quality of the questions you ask yourself.’
The Consequences of not being clear on your goals
When you are not clear on our goals, you set goals that are ambiguous, small, and unconnected. If your goals are vague, small, and irrelevant, you are not going to take a lot of action. If there is any action at all, it is soon followed by demotivation and procrastination. You can’t keep moving forward towards something that you aren’t sure about; the natural response is to hesitate.
The second consequence is that when you do this, you start to create the belief that you cannot achieve your goals, there might be something wrong with you or that goal setting doesn’t work. You will give up eventually and not set goals anymore. Here’s a quick read on why people don’t set goals and why they should.
So the question becomes: How do you really get clear on your goals and what you want to achieve?
Guide to start getting clear on what you really want in your personal life.
- Create the ideal environment to be relaxed, present, uninterrupted, and where your creative juices can flow. Nature is best! Here are some tips…
• Somewhere different
• The least distractions possible – visual, auditory, etc.
• Make sure you are rested, fuelled with healthy food, and comfortable.
• Don’t use a computer, write everything out.
• Play music in the background that will put help shift into Alpha Brain Wave state.
2. Get into a flow state to think beyond the edges of the map. You want your mind to be free to operate like a child’s so ideas can fly in without constraints.
• Shake your body out.
• Put both your hands on your heart.
• Close your eyes and breathe deeply in your heart.
• Feel the strength of your heart and all that it has guided you to do throughout the years.
• Realize that the beating of your heart is life in you. Bring in gratitude and love.
• Think of an accomplishment or achievement in your life.
• Step into that moment, feel it, remember the journey, and how incredible it felt.
• Bring in more moments, start to stack and really feel the success and achievements of everything you have done.
• Feel proud that your heart has always known what to do and always knows what you truly want. Thank you it for always guiding you and for guiding you now again.
• Ask your heart to share its deepest desires and confirm that you will listen and really hear.
3. Then in your flow state or peak state, once you feel your mind is quiet and you can hear your heart, start to think about what you would like to accomplish in your life.
Remember that stats show that what you first say you want as a goal, is only the part of what you think you want, and what you believe you can accomplish.
Think about things like:
– If money was no object, nothing was impossible, what would you want/do?
– What have you wanted to do but were afraid to try?
– Where do I want to be in 2 years?
See yourself in the future, 2 years from now.
• What would your relationships look like?
• What would you be doing with your time?
• What hobbies would you be pursuing?
• What volunteer opportunities would you be pursuing?
• What would your health look like?
• What communities or groups would you be a part of?
• What would your spiritual life look like?
• What would you like to have accomplished by then?
• Where would your personal growth and development be?
– If you only had 1 year to live, what would you do?
– What 30 things would you like to do/accomplish by the end of your life?
Include anything you want to: Do, be, share, create, have, give. Include Financial goals, personal development goals, physical goals, relationship goals, and contribution goals. Anything you would like to learn, enjoy or do. No matter how silly or outrageous it might seem, this is your chance to dream without limits. Don’t let your mind limit you, right now, it’s about dreaming of everything that would absolutely fulfill you, make you grow, and what you would absolutely and ultimately desire in life.
Anything is possible right now. You don’t have ‘to accomplish’ any of them right, the idea is to start to get the ideas flowing. Keep your pen moving as fast as possible. Don’t stop – this is the fun part! Dream and dream away. Write at least 20-30 goals or more. You will feel it when you start getting to the real stuff.
4. Looking at your list, what are the goals that if you could achieve this year would get you up early and keep you up late with excitement and make you grow more than you could ever dream of? Circle them
This is one way to start to get on what you want to desire. These are examples of better questions, the more specific the better. Reach out for help if you feel stuck in setting clear actionable goals that motivate you and are real needle movers in your life.
When you are thinking about what you want to achieve, watch out for limiting beliefs. The only limit to what we can achieve is the limit to our imagination. Align your values with your goals, what is really important for you, and what you ultimately value the most in life. If you don’t value time, you might struggle with the goal of waking up earlier to get more done for example.
We can all achieve our goals, and honestly have the life that we dream of. There is nothing that separates any of us apart besides our mindset and the strategies to achieve our goals and both are in our control. It starts with clarity. Only you know what you really desire, what makes your heart sing, and what you truly want to experience and create for yourself, no one else. Take the time to do this, it is the best gift you can ever give yourself in life because once you are clear, nothing will stop you!!!
To your success!!
– Look out for my next article on getting clear on your professional goals! –